I can’t make words work. If I could say the right thing to you maybe you could tell me what it is that’s killing me. I wouldn’t mind it if you saved me. I’m sure some would hold it against you. Turn it on you. Try and take all your good and ram it into your gut so hard that the whole world turned black and all you could see was scar tissue.
I think of you a lot. I think of you and me walking along in a parking lot at night. Our shoulders rubbing against each other as we listen to our voices. We’re both damaged and beautiful. We know the order of order and the order of disorder. We’ve both been hunted and nearly destroyed by weaklings with big ideas. We know the night.
I was hoping that you would turn out to be strong, stronger than I ever had thought possible. I was hoping you’d be able to save me. That you would be able to stop time for a second. That you would be able to make a miracle happen and show me. That you would take the pain away.